I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
