Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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