Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
