Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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