I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
