i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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