Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We have started to decorate penises.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
