They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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