I will die if light touches me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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