why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
