it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
