Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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