so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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