I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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