At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
