reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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