I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
