She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
