She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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