The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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