I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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