im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so that wasnt chicken after all
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
