Kiss
Puke
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
