Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you win again, gameday.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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