So drunk its hurt
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
