Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
