so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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