the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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