dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
