Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
