It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
