If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
