You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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