I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
