There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
