someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
