i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
