make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
