I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
