just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
