I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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