I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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