im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
