Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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