girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
