yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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