I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
that's an acceptable place to lick
Barsexuality is the new black.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
