I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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