I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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