we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
